I Hate New Year's Resolutions

I hate making New Year’s resolutions. I know it’s something that one is supposed to do, and it’s probably a good way to start off the year. My issue with resolutions is that it seems that what I’m really doing is setting myself up for certain failure. Not that I won’t try, but I’m human, and old habits are sometimes hard to break. So instead of feeling energetic and positive, I end up feeling like a failure, or that I’ve let myself or the Universe down.

If I really MUST do resolutions I make sure I list things that I know I won’t have any difficulty achieving, that way I can pat myself on the back for keeping all my resolutions. This year’s list.

I won’t go bungee jumping.
I won’t get acupuncture. (I hate needles)
I won’t go swimming in Lake Michigan and New Year’s Day.
I won’t eat chocolate covered ants.
I won’t have sex in a public place.
I won’t run over that inconsiderate person who cuts me off.

The last few years instead of writing out that “list”, I’ve started doing something different. Sometime around the first of the year, usually not on New Year’s Day, I do a visualization process instead. Why not New Year’s Day? There are football games, parties, phone calls, people getting together, and various other activities that take away my focus. If New Year’s Day works, that’s great, but if not, I just find a little quiet time that first week.

How does visualization work? My method is pretty simple, I think about my life and what’s working and what’s not. I allow my thoughts to go to each area of my life. As I do this, I pay attention not only to my thoughts, but to my feelings as well…do certain areas cause me to feel tired, stressed, anxious, depressed, is my body relaxed or is it suddenly tense. All these things are an indication of feelings that may not even be acknowledged yet.

I go through and look at and feel each aspect of my life and notice how I feel about each and how my body feels as well.

Relationships with friends and family. Do I spend enough time with the people who are important to me? If not, what can I do to change that? Are the relationships working? If not, how would I like them to look and feel?

Work. Do I look forward to work or is just thinking about it exhausting? Do I enjoy the people I work with, or do I find myself just waiting to get away from them?

Money. Do I need more? Do I need to make other changes in my financial picture (spending, saving etc)?

Physical. Do I feel energetic and well, or am I exhausted and sick? Do I get enough exercise? Am I eating right?

Home. Is my home and/or workplace pleasant and organized? Do I feel good when I walk in the door?

Spiritual. This is going to be different for each person depending on your own religious views or lack of them. For me, I focus on whether I feel at peace in my life, do I feel like I’m connecting with spirit?

Okay, so I’ve taken a survey of my life and I know what’s working and what could use improvement.

Rather than make a list of steps and tasks – the old type of resolution – I instead do a visualization of each area in my life, working at optimum. Rather than putting in detailed pictures and lists of what’s needed in each area, I do my best to focus on the feelings that I imagine I would have if each area was at its highest ideal. That way I can allow the Universe (god, etc) to bring about the circumstances, opportunities, choices that bring me to that ideal.
Allow yourself feel and sense how life could be…if you get mental pictures, great, if not, just try to imagine and feel.

Relationships with friends and family. How would I like to experience my relationships? Would I spend more time in person or on the phone? How does that make me feel? Do I feel connected, loving, happy?

Work. What would my ideal work be? Could I make changes that make work more fun and interesting? Can I make a shift in relationships? Do I need to make a change in my career? How would I feel if I were satisfied and excited about my work?

Money. How would my life feel if money wasn’t an issue? Would I feel more relaxed, more free, more expansive?

Physical. I feel my body fully energized, vibrant and healthy.

Home. I see myself walking in the door and feeling happy to be home, with lots of light an air. (Put here what your ideal is, do you want to feel cozy, expansive, organized?)

Spiritual. I feel joyful and fully connected with my own intuition and divine guidance.

I’ve found that this method often allows more flexibility and sometimes surprising changes and opportunities that I couldn’t have thought of, but by allowing the space for manifestation things end up working out better than I could have done if I was trying to control each aspect. Don’t get me wrong this doesn’t mean that I just put out there a visualization, then sit back and expect things to happen. Instead I stay alert to opportunities and take action when necessary. I also keep in mind that sometimes on the way to getting there, wherever “there” is, there may be some interesting jigs, jogs and detours along the way. Sometimes it’s those jogs and detours that eventually bring about the fruition of our dream. Nothing is ever a failure, and nothing is without reason or meaning. You may not appreciate or understand each circumstance at the time, but often later can see how the pieces fit together to get you where you needed to be. The beauty of this process is that you stay more open and flexible, spend less time beating yourself up, and have more time and energy left to enjoy the unfolding of your life. It’s always an adventure if you chose to see it that way.

I wrote about some of this in a previous blog, but it fits here as well. Change has been a big part of my life, and when I haven't made changes willingly, the Universe has stepped in to give me a boot. The most dramatic of those "boots" was a fire that burned down the company I'd worked for for ten years. I'd known it was time to move on, but just wasn't doing it. Wow, what a wake up call. Since then I've tried to be more in tune with myself and what's working and what's not, but I don't always manage.

Recently I was working as an accountant, which actually can be quite interesting. However, in this case it was production accounting, doing books and monthly sales and payroll tax for 30 clients. Never ending deadlines and a fairly negative work environment were getting me down and I was rapidly losing my normal joy. So what happened? I fell at work, I tripped over an electrical cord I'd complained about numerous time. I was quickly shown the true nature of my employers in that they gave me no support and no understanding of the fact that I was injured. It took me several more months of continuing pain and depression to realize I needed a change in a big way. In one week my doctor, chiropractor and massage therapist all told me they were worried about me and I needed to quit. I finally did it, and almost miraculously the pain in my ribs almost completely went away...felt a bit like I'd removed the knife from my side. hmmm

Another quick way to visualize your life is to think about qualities that you’d like to embody more and really feel that feeling and let it become part of you.

If you want to learn more about using your intention read the book by Lynne McTaggart “The Intention Experiment”. The minute I opened this book I had tingles of excitement. I’m excited because she brings scientific research to a subject that until know has been mostly subjective. The Intention Experiment is the first book not only to synthesize the scientific evidence about human intention, but also the first to explain how to use this power in one’s life, individually and collectively. Read the book or order her Master Class CD set http://www.wddtyhealthshop.com/products.asp?recnumber=430.

The Intention Experiment is a groundbreaking exploration of the science of intention. It is also the first book to invite you, the reader, to take an active part in its original research. With the aid of a team of highly experienced scientists who number among the world’s most prestigious investigators into consciousness research she has enlarged her research to encompass on online community, where we can even chose to take part in future experiments. http://theintentionexperiment.ning.com/

Let’s all make 2009 a year of Intentionality and Joy.