Valentine's Day is often bittersweet.
When we were kids in my school, we all had a decorated box on our desk and everyone would put cards in it, some nice, some not so nice. This was often a disappointing day for those who were less popular. I always felt very badly for those who only got a few cards or some that were unkind. Valentine's Day for many became something to be dreaded rather than anticipated.
The romantic expectations of Valentine's Day create a lot of mixed emotions, even pain. Those who are not in a relationship often feel left out, unloved and sad. Even being in a relationship doesn't mean it's going to be an enjoyable day. There are a lot of expectations that often go unmet. Partners don't or can't live up to the romantic dreams of their partners or feel so pressured by it all that they give up before they start.
I've never been a big fan of "forced" celebrations for many of those reasons. We tend to twist ourselves into knots trying to make a "perfect day" of it and fulfill all those dreams. I don't know about you, but when I try to do that, it almost never works.
What can we do instead? My husband and I had a very rocky first Valentine's Day when we first started dating. The day before was Friday the 13th, when he got to his office the bank was there to declare the company bankrupt and close their doors. The banker thought the irony of it being Friday the 13th was very funny. Needless to say, celebration and romance was not in the cards for the following day. Since that time, we've agreed to not try to create a romantic day of it, but to simply exchange thoughtful cards, talking about what we appreciate about each other and our relationship. We often laugh about our first Valentine's Day over a simple dinner and glass of wine.
What if we re-frame Valentine's Day as a day in which we celebrate the power of love? Instead of thinking about all the unmet expectations and sense of isolation this holiday often brings about, we can use this as an opportunity to spread love...not just romantic love, but actual heartfelt compassion for others and ourselves?
Smile at everyone you meet.
Stop by a nursing home or hospital and take some treats - sweets may not be welcomed or healthy, so how about some lotions, books, magazines, even craft items. Stay and have a conversation with some of the patients who don't have visitors.
Call someone you haven't talked to in a while just to say "hi".
Write a letter to a friend (or two or three), use nice stationary. I guarantee they'll be surprised, since most of us just send emails.
Share a CD of music that inspires you.
The children of your household are simply gonna love this. Write up little notes about how you feel for them and what they mean to you and place them around your house along with a candy heart or other treat. Add a riddle at the end of each note about where to find the next note. At the last note, have something special waiting there, say a teddy bear or other toy or treat. Make sure that you hide the notes when none of the little ones are watching, or else all the fun is going to be spoiled. (I found this idea on www.theholidayspot.com)
Have a party. Invite all your friends to come share an evening of friendship and love.
Call a single friend or two invite them for dinner or a movie.
Get together with friends or even your children and go to a shop that lets you make ceramics or jewelry right there. You'll have fun and something to keep or give away as a gift.
For yourself; treat yourself to a massage or spa day, take a long hot bath, buy something new, fix a lovely dinner and enjoy it with a glass of wine. Buy yourself a heart shaped BioElectric Shield. I wear one when I'm feeling a little romantic. Buy yourself jewelry with hearts or with stones that bring love energies just to remind you that love is around you all the time.
But most of all, do something that just makes you feel good and loving.
Carolyn
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